


no time to die

by suslikd



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Angst, Dark Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir, F/M, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-23
Updated: 2020-02-23
Packaged: 2021-02-28 02:55:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,862
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22866706
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/suslikd/pseuds/suslikd
Summary: Adrien is the most caring person ever, It’s a statement Marinette can declare as an undoubtable truth, and she knows him like the back of her hand. And she can't be mistaken, can she?
Relationships: Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir/Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug
Comments: 12
Kudos: 49





	no time to die

**Author's Note:**

> Well, English is not my native tongue, so I'm really sorry, if there are some mistakes. I wrote this thing the same way and in the same style I usually do it in Russian, but I'm not sure that it is a good strategy in English :'D
> 
> I really appreciate my friend's help: Finnish Soup (she's not an ao3 user) really helped me with beta-reading :)
> 
> This was inspired by Billie Eilish - No Time To Die, so I hope you're ready to be a bit heartbroken in the end :)

It is hard to say, when everything went… well, not wrong, but neither in the right direction. Her life seems undoubtedly perfect for those, who doesn't know her well enough. To be honest, the only human being, who knows the whole picture of her life, was Marinette herself, so she can say that even close friends and family are absolutely wrong thinking that everything is going well.

Marinette has become a pretty young woman, she graduated and managed to find a job of her dreams. And, to common pleasure, suddenly she managed to get Adrien attention.

So, according to everyone's opinion, she has every reason to smile. To smile every bloody day.

Marinette hisses as she touches her bruised elbow, safely hidden by long sleeves, and tries to keep smiling, even though the only thing she wants right now is to hide and cry. She is too tired for all this stuff, but the worst thing is that no one should know the reason of her state. Not a single soul should know that she is Ladybug, because it has become freaking dangerous and can cost her life.

“Everything is ok,” Marinette absently replies to her colleague, simply trying to hide painful expression on her face. She has done this so many times since Chat Noir's betrayal, but it hasn't become any less hard.

“You look sick, you know? Just remember to sleep sometimes, girl!” a colleague shakes her head.

Marinette puts back her drafts and takes a sewing pattern in her hands. Marinette gas a lot of work to be done, and so she has no time to regret and feel piteousness for herself. It isn't the first time she suffers after fights with Chat Noir, this has been going on for a whole year.

And today is even not the worst for her unlucky bruised body.

About a year ago her life became a complete mess: during one of the akuma attacks her wonderful partner and friend came a few minutes after her, but not to help her. He stabbed her in the back so easily, that Ladybug couldn't believe she was all alone in her mission from that very moment. But their second fight a week later made her believe.

And so this mess began: she started to fight with not only akumitized citizens, but her ex-partner at the same time, and that was pretty tough. The worst thing (after endless bruises, cuts and other little traumas, that sometimes occurred despite her magical suit) has become the fact that Chat Noir hasn't changed his playful manner to banter with her during fights.

Maybe, this has become the most harmful thing for her tired mind and heart, that could eventually break Marinette, but fortunately one day she ran into her old friend and teenage love. And that actually gave her a good reason to keep on fighting.

Marinette smiles as her thoughts go to Adrien. She bumped into him about two months ago in the corridor of Gabriel Agreste's office (it wasn't strange, they worked in the same office, to be honest, they wondered why they haven't met yet) and he suggested to share a dinner the same day they'd met. They became friends soon, but friendship wasn’t enough…

So, they’ve become lovers. A bit awkward and timid lovers, honestly, who just share rare dates and hot, but still a bit shy kisses, but Marinette is absolutely ok with that. They have the whole life, and this sweet and innocent period of relationships is somehow precious too.

Still smiling, Marinette goes back to her work. She really needs to finish this stuff on time, today will be a dinner date, and she can’t be late. Of course, Adrien will understand, if she does arrive late, but Marinette herself isn’t happy about the idea of spending less time with him.

Her life is already a complete mess and she doesn’t want to lose the opportunity to make it a bit better.

# ***

Adrien is the most caring person ever, It’s a statement Marinette can declare as an undoubtable truth, and every dinner date they’ve spent together is a proof.

He suggests her cacao and sits nearby on a coach. His arm is on her shoulders, and she barely hears sounds of the movie. The evening is close to be perfect, and the only thing that disturbs Marinette’s mind is that her body _aches_.

“Are you fine, Mari?” he tightens his grip a bit.

Marinette just nods: “Yup. I'm fine. Perfect, to be honest. Not paying enough attention to the movie, but really enjoying the company.”

“Oh,” Adrien chuckles, “well, l've spent quite a lot of time deciding who to invite to and finally decided that just me and you would be a great choice. Pretty glad you liked that!”

Giggling in a fist, Marinette shakes her head and sends a smile to the man she's totally in love with. “Oh, I really adore your choice, that's the company I've always dreamt of.”

Adrien gently caresses her cheek before pressing a light kiss on a tip of her nose. He frowns for a second: “But still… you are worried about something.”

Adrien is the most caring person and, to Marinette's surprise, pretty attentive. She sighs. She is going to tell him the truth one day, but it's not the best idea, considering that she has not one but two enemies now. Not that she can't protect Adrien in case of any danger, but… Well, she is a bit afraid of how he possibly reacts. Maybe Adrien will be happy to date a hero of Paris.

Maybe he will be shocked by the way she looks like without her thoroughly chosen clothes with long sleeves and thick fabric.

Maybe he won't like the mess, that is hidden behind her usual smile.

“Hey, you know you can trust me with anything, don't you?” Adrien looks in her eyes, and Marinette drowns in those fascinating green eyes full of concern. Oh, hell, she wants to tell him! Of course, she wants to be not alone in that exhausting double life, to have someone to lean on after the worst fights…

She sighs and smiles in gentle kiss. Marinette opens her mouth, her mind is a bit lovesick and she’s lost in a dizzy haze. As always when they kiss. And Marinette wants to tell him everything. Adrien loves her, he can understand the truth, can’t he? He can bare the cross of superhero support, can’t he?..

“I… Adrien, I’ve got a secret. The one, that nobody knows,” she licks her lips, trying to calm down. But her stupid heart keeps beating too fast. She wants to be honest with Adrien. She’s just not ready yet. “And I really wanna tell you…”

“But?” Adrien narrowed his eyes, and Marinette wonders what is hiding behind this darkened gaze. Something unfamiliar, she thinks, and something strangely well known.

“I’m just not ready” Marinette absently shrugs, she tries to smile, but her lips are shaking. “It has been a secret for so many years, and it’s not so easy just to let the cat out of the bag.”

Marinette bites her lip: Chat Noir managed to slip into her mind and words. Happily, she didn’t say ‘let the Chat out of the bag’. She bets, her ex-partner would’ve appreciated that.

Adrien has frozen for a second, looking a bit weirdly into Marinette’s eyes. She gives him a look full of unsaid apologies, and that lovely guy in front of her relaxes. He gives Marinette one of his best smiles – the one she always compares with a sunny day.

“I see. I can wait, Princess,” he plants a kiss on her forehead, and something inside Marinette’s chest tightens. But then she thankfully smiles, remembering one undoubtable truth.

Adrien is the most caring person ever.

# ***

Marinette checks the pack of contracts she has been told to bring to Mr. Agreste and steps ahead from the elevator. She needs to hurry up if she wants to catch Gabriel Agreste before the conference, so Marinette almost runs down the empty hall (and this is a tough challenge if you’re wearing heels!). She stops right in front of the door to the cabinet and turns back just to check, that secretary’s seat is empty. Marinette gives herself a minute to calm down her breath and to check the appearance.

And this is the moment she hears voices. These voices are quite familiar and their owners are behind the door. There is no doubt, that is her boyfriend and her boss, Marinette knows both of them well enough to be certain.

What else Marinette is certain about is that they are arguing. And this somehow relates to her too because she definitely has heard her name. She freezes in silence. She knows that bugging someone’s conversation is a bad thing. Bugging is a bad idea for Marinette and, what’s more, bugging is an awful idea for Ladybug.

If Chat Noir hadn’t betrayed her, he would love this pun, Marinette is pretty sure.  
 _  
“Adrien, you need to stop, this meanness…”_

_“I’ve gone too far to stop. I’m doing all your dirty work because you became too weak to take risks, so please…”  
_  
Marinette frowns: is it somehow connected to the company? Gabriel’s fashion house has a perfect reputation, and it is hard to believe in words about something dirty in this company. Or is that just a façade?..

She bites her lip, deciding if it is a good idea to knock and stop the argue, and Gabriel behind the door hisses: _“I won’t support you with akumas anymore. Put house in order, Adrien, and open your eyes before it’s too late. I don’t want you to destroy your own life.”_

_“Huh! I’ve said I’m not in love. I’ve never been in love with Marinette and I do not love her as Ladybug anymore. I’ve said this millions times before and that won’t change, so, please, focus on our aim. Nothing else matters.”  
_  
Marinette bites her knuckles not to let herself cry. It isn’t Adrien she has known before, but has she ever known him or it has been only illusion? A silly childish illusion, that is breaking on a thousand pieces right now.

Gabriel Agreste has just mentioned ‘support with akumas’, and some part of Marinette absently wonders if she was right thinking that Gabriel Agreste was Hawk Moth. And the only person Hawk Moth has been supporting with akumas for the whole year was…  
 _  
“We need to rescue her, yeah. But I also need to take care of you.”_

_"I don't need you and your care, but yes, we need to rescue her, and I will get these bloody earrings. As Adrien or as Chat Noir, I don’t care at all.”_  
  
Marinette closes her eyes: there is no time for tears, no matter how broken she is feeling herself right now. The only thing she really needs right now is to run. Of course she can be fired because of these damned unsigned contracts, but this isn’t the thing she is worried about.

She doubts that she is able to hide all that pain in her heart if she dares to knock and enter as nothing has happened. She isn’t that brave anymore and she isn’t that reckless. She was too reckless to love Adrien, and she won’t make this mistake once again.

Silently Marinette leaves contracts on secretary’s desk and run back to elevators as fast as she can. Her mind is strangely empty, like someone has stolen every thought from there, and this silence of thoughts almost blows her mind. She presses a button in the elevator, ignoring nervous moves of Tikki in her pocket.

Marinette chooses the top floor: she needs fresh air, she just can’t breathe, and she is going to escape that damn place as Ladybug. She’s going to run out of here and never come back to this damn place.

The only thing she dreams of right now is to find a safe place to hide and die there because of numerous cuts made by smithers of her broken heart, but there’s no time to die. Not for Ladybug, at least, but Marinette is not sure she has enough strength now.

To be honest, Marinette has nothing now.

# ***

Empty room seems to be cold as hell, even though the interior of the whole flat is full of warm colours. This contrast fits the owner of the flat, Marinette calmly admits. Nice looking façade with a piece of ice instead of a heart inside.

She sits on a coach among heavenly soft pillows, that haven't changed since her last visit. Everything is as nice and cozy as it was, but Marinette can't enjoy all these things anymore. The only reason she sits there and waits is that she doesn't have the keys. And, well, she really wants to tell Adrien a couple of words.

Marinette just wants to finish all this mess.

The sound of turning keys in the lock breaks the silence. It isn't loud, but it seems to rumble like a thunder in Marinette's heart.

The only thing that allays her fears is that after their talk there will be no reason for Adrien to harm her. Marinette tries not to think about all protests that Tikki has been telling her for the whole week, during which Marinette has been hiding from the whole world. It doesn't matter that she has lost her job and made her friends worry. She craved a little bit of time to think and decide and she needed to be absolutely cold-minded and alone.

She has been really lucky there has been no akuma attacks for the whole week: it seems that Gabriel Agreste stands by his word as usual.

Door opens and allows Adrien to enter. There is a sight of tiredness on his face, but as he sees Marinette, he sincerely wonders: brows are up, and mouth's open. Well, known to be disappeared Marinette isn't what he ever expected to see in his flat.

She smiles: “Why do you look so scared, mon Chaton?”

She really tries to keep smiling, but her lips are trembling. It was so easy to imagine this scene, but it is so hard to make it real without any tear in her eyes.

And Adrien sees that. Damn!

“So you know,” eventually he admits. Marinette just nods. She doesn’t have enough powers to force herself and start to talk. She needs a couple of seconds to calm her breath down.

And Adrien gives her these seconds. He doesn’t move, maybe he’s just too surprised, but Marinette is grateful even for this. She nods to the coffee table: “You can take them.”

Her earrings glitter dimly, lying on the matte surface of the coffee table. Marinette’s conscience is silent: she has been thinking about Ladybug’s duty and her own tiredness for the whole week, and the only conclusion she has got is that she is only human being. Marinette is a mere mortal and everything she ever wanted is to live a happy life.

None of her plans include a death, brought by her ex-partner and love of her life.

“Is it a trap or something?” Adrien looks tensely, and moves back, when Marinette takes a step on her way to the exit door.

“No.”

“Lies. You wouldn’t have waited here…”

Marinette chuckles nervously and shakes her head, interrupting cold Adrien’s voice full of concern and anxiety: “Lies? How dare you, Adrien? It wasn’t only me who was full of lies. However, I wanted to wait for you and to say my ‘thank you’ in your face.” Marinette stops just in front of Adrien. She is still too high-strung, but she needs to tell him. She needs to outspeak and go. “So, thank you for these lies. These two months of illusion were wonderful. I wanted to say this, that’s why I’ve been waiting for you.”

The expression of his green eyes is unreadable. And obviously cold. “You are welcome, Milady.”

“And also it is the only way to leave this flat without Ladybug’s powers” Marinette shrugs and almost runs to the exit, hoping Adrien won’t stop her.

“Marinette!”

She squeezes door handle, but doesn’t turn back. She needs to leave her previous life behind, and doing this doesn’t include turning back.

“Please, don’t ruin this world with your precious wish.”

Marinette closes the door behind her back and feels that she is finally free. And absolutely empty.

# ***

Adrien squeezes earrings in his hand. He won. He will fix everything: now he has one of the greatest powers of the universe in his hands, and he doesn’t regret anything. Ladybug had been breaking his heart for so many times, before he changed sides, so it was fair price to sacrifice her for the better life of his family, wasn’t it?

Adrien smiles, trying to encourage himself, but his smile is bitter, not triumphant. He feels a deep hole in his heart, but stubbornly believes that it is just an illusion of pain. Because winners can’t feel anything, but happiness, can they?

A lonely wet stripe crosses Adrien’s cheek.

**Author's Note:**

> And actually there's an art, connected to this fic - https://twitter.com/suslikd_/status/1228418341964066818


End file.
